I was taught at a young age that it’s all about your perspective on things.
“A particular attitude toward or way of regarding something; a point of view.”
Your perspective can affect the outcome of any situation, as well as your attitude. Let’s just keep this in mind throughout my post today. We will come back to it.
I’m 20 years old now. 20 years of experience in life is nothing compared to 40-50 years; but I have learned a thing or two. My perspective on life and the outcome of how things will turn out, is what has helped me through my best days and the worst.
Lets rewind a little here.
I hated high school. The people I grew up with probably have no idea how much I truly hated it. (or maybe they do?) It wasn’t because I was bullied (not exactly anyway), or because my classes were difficult in comparison to other classes.
I hated high school because of how difficult it was to grow in to the person I wanted to be. Yes I know exactly what you’re thinking; at 16 what could I possibly have wanted to be that I couldn’t? It’s not even that I was trying to be somebody and wasn’t particularly able to. It’s that I wasn’t able to grow as a person because I felt like I had to be exactly like everyone else. Which I now realize is horse shit and I should have done exactly what I wanted. But at a young and vulnerable age it just doesn’t cross your mind. You don’t realize that you have a choice in the matter. I didn’t anyway.
You play sports, you join activities and do everything you can to not be a loner. You be social, you go out to parties, you do the normal things you’re told that everyone does. Because it’s uncool to not show up to these events, or sign up for those activities. You want people to like you. For those few years you are in that building, you want EVERYBODY to like you. (Which is impossible)
Now for the honest part.
I hate sports. I play sports like I have two left feet. Which is funny to me because I love exercising and living a healthy lifestyle. I go to the gym multiple times a week. But sports? FUCK THAT.
I strongly dislike drinking, and I very rarely partake in it now. Alcohol doesn’t make me happy or turn me into a kind person. I act in ways I’m not proud of and it makes me feel terrible, so I choose not to do that now. Who would have thought you had a choice, right? Because of this, I’ve grown apart from many people I went to high school with. Everything happens for a reason and as saddening as it is to not have these close friendships anymore, something as simple as not drinking for the sake of my health shouldn’t make you lose a lifelong friend. It just shouldn’t. Not unless that friendship wasn’t genuine in the first place.
I was a lazy student and did the bare minimum. That’s the honest truth.
I hated the extra curricular activities I joined. I participated in them because they were the ones that I was told I should. Everybody else enjoyed them, so I probably would too.. WRONG.
I’m sure you can guess where the rest of this is going. Somewhere along the lines of ‘blah blah I hated everything blah blah.’ Enough of that.
What I’m trying to say is that after high school, I struggled a GREAT deal. I struggled with my image, and loving me for the person I am. I always felt like I was so different from everybody else, and I thought that was a bad thing. I desperately wanted to be liked and seen. I feel bad for the person I was 2 years ago. I was lost after graduating high school. Good grief.
It took me a ridiculous amount of time to accept myself. To accept my weird laugh, my terrible immature jokes, and my blunt personality. It made me realize why so many relationships and friendships hadn’t turned out well. How did I expect somebody to accept me for ME, when I couldn’t do that myself?
I’m still learning so much every day. About what interests I have, and the hobbies I enjoy partaking in. So many things I had no idea I would enjoy, but I do!
I love to paint, I love photography, coffee (lots of it), makeup, reading, being alone, and re-watching Gilmore Girls (over and over and over….)
The list goes on and is continuously growing.
Throughout all of this (for the most part) I always had a positive perspective on life, and what I could become. I wanted to make myself proud first and for most. Although the career path I chose to follow directly outside of high school is not something I want to do now, and it took me some time to accept that, I am thankful I went to College. It taught me responsibility, and it allowed me time to figure out even more things about myself. (Like I said — continuously learning)
It seriously brings tears to my eyes thinking about the friendships I now have because of the path I took. I learned what a true friendship is like. The kind where they think your weird jokes are actually funny, and they have a punch line to follow. And they actually care about how you’re doing and check up on you. I am so thankful.
Then there’s the friendships that were formed after college, when I received my full-time position. I can’t even describe it to you. I’ve met so many amazing people, each teaching me something different about myself, and each showing me new things that I had no idea I would enjoy DOING so much. (Painting, etc)
I know this blurb has been all over the place and it’s hard to keep my thoughts in order because there is just so much I could say on this very broad topic.
But the point I’m trying to get to is this;
If you’re struggling to figure out who you are, it’s okay. Join the club.
You’ll never have an exact idea and you’re going to be constantly learning new things. Endlessly. Just allow yourself to grow, and experience anything that comes your way. Any job I’ve had, even the worst of the worst, I’ve met so many people who have taught me things. How to be a good worker, even how to laugh it off when a customer has screamed at you for no reason other than the fact that they’ve had a bad day themselves. Having a positive perspective going in to any career, any new activity out of your comfort zone, and any new experience makes a world of difference.
I had such a difficult time as a teenager. I struggled a great deal, and I wouldn’t wish the emotional tornado I went through on anyone. But I also wouldn’t change a thing. I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be and I wouldn’t be here without going through the things I have.
There’s constant change and continous growth in the world, every single day. You have to accept that and have an opened mind.
It could always be worse, and I have so much to be thankful for. We all do.
If you’re in high school and struggling; I promise you it’ll get so much better.
If you’re struggling to come into your own as an adult; I promise you it’ll get so much better.
Change your perspective.
Laugh it off.
Do not let the difficult situations in your life define who you are. Grow from it, take away a lesson from what has happened to you, and then move on.
We all have bad days.
But here’s the kicker; what you do to overcome these difficult times in your life is what really matters.
Are you going to sit at home and think the world is against you? Or are you going to pull up your damn socks and do something about it?
Yeah, the choice is up to you. But don’t make the mistake of believing you can’t overcome the things you’ve been through.
It doesn’t matter who you were or what you’ve been through.
What matters is what you decide to do next.
Change your perspective, and take it one day at a time.
I always hated that saying. One day at a time. Like what the hell is that supposed to mean?
But it’s true. Stop thinking about next week, or the following months to come. Just think about what you want right this very second and go for it.
Everything happens for a reason. Seriously.
I was going to be a hairdresser, living in my small town where I grew up, partying every weekend and hating my life.
But I moved out of that small town, have a college education, and am a pharmacy assistant. I plan on going back to school and that’s okay too! I have a life to be thankful for. I get cranky, I get really mad and even sometimes upset. But whatever. Everyday can not be a great day. So go to sleep, and thank god you get to wake up tomorrow morning and try again.
If you stuck with me throughout this entire babbling of a blog post today, I appreciate it.
And I hope you take something good from it! That’s what matters most.